Unless You're Sure
by turbomagnus
Summary: Hina Urashima sent for her estranged grandson to come and take over the family inn. This would later become known as the second-worst mistake of her life after casting him from the family to begin with.


Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I just play in the sandbox and sewer. I'm not trying to make money off them, just entertain. Ownership and money goes to Akamatsu, Eastman, Laird, etc...

But can I at least have some pizza?

* * *

"Unless You're Sure"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

* * *

"You should never hand someone a gun unless you're sure where they'll point it," Capt. Jeffrey Sinclair, "Babylon 5", 'By Any Means Necessary'.

"Money cannot buy the honor which you have earned tonight. You make us all proud," The Shredder, 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'.

* * *

It had been chaos. Keitaro had arrived at the Hinatasou only to discover that he had been called there under false pretences moments before the so-called residents began to commit assault and attempted murder without even bothering to investigate the circumstances or listen to his explanations. Then Haruka had put a stop to their reckless antics just to inform him that the same self-rightous hypocrite whose words and deeds had destroyed any chance of the life he had once sought actually thought he would accept empty words and hollow promises in exchange for giving up the life he now had and taking on a role that they themselves were supposed to fill.

To say he was displeased would be as to say that the snow that falls on Fujiyama in the middle of winter is merely somewhat cool.

"Well, there's only one thing I can do then."

The girls of Hinata had victorious expressions on their faces as they were certain this male would refuse to become the manager. They were only half-correct, and it was the half that would cost them as Keitaro calmly folded the deed to the Inn, Annex and land into thirds and placed it into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, removing a small cellular phone and pressing a speed-dial button as he opened it.

"'Hayo, 'Rai-koi," Keitaro spoke into the phone, "You remember a certain property in Hinata City that your father was looking into and _tengu-baa _refused to even discuss the matter? Well, you might want to invite him to dinner this evening to celebrate the fact that it's come into new, more open-minded ownership. It seems they've chosen to forget what I haven't. I will see you as soon as my business here is finished for today. I love you as well, Karai-chan, goodbye."

Ending the call, Keitaro didn't return the phone to his pocket, instead selecting a number from the contacts list and dialing it, "Inspector-Supervisor, the day has come to repay that which you owe. In one week, I will need a detachment of your finest officers to provide security while I evict former residents from one of my properties. When this is done, all debts shall be considered paid in full. Good day, Inspector-Supervisor."

Before Keitaro even had a chance to close his phone, Narusegawa was shouting, "You can't just throw us out!"

"Yes," Keitaro answered calmly, closing the phone and sliding it back into his pocket, "I can. As the Americans would say, 'you backed the wrong horse'."

"But what about our leases?" Konno tried.

"Those were with Urashima, not with me. I'm not obligated in any way to continue them. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you talk to the old woman... not that she listens to anything besides what she wants to hear," he remarked, adjusting his glasses, "I'm sure she's not going to believe anything you say when you tell her what happened here today."

"Don't talk about Granny that way!" the foreign girl wailed, "She's never been anything but kind!"

"Then you've only seen the face she wants you to see; Urashima Hina is only kind when she has something to gain from it..." Keitaro shook his head, "Forget it, my Sensei once told me that to argue with a fool makes one a fool themself... I'm not going to waste my time any further. You'll see the truth when you see Urashima again."

"What kind of fool teaches claptrap like that?" Haruka muttered quietly to herself off to one side. Not quietly enough, however, as the words were heard and brought a reaction.

Keitaro spun around, a tiger claw in his hand that hadn't been there before, "Never insult Saki-Sensei in my presence again, Haruka... Next time, I might forget we were family once."

"We still are family, Kei..." Haruka tried to placate him.

"Do not try it, Urashima," He retorted lowly, "We stopped being family the day you and they sided with that adopted wretch over flesh and blood. The day that the head of your clan cast me out without any concern for the truth. I have a new family, Urashima, I am _Ashi_ now..."

Haruka's face paled at her nephew's casual reference to one of the more powerful organized crime groups as he continued speaking.

"More than that, I am Oroku Keitaro, husband of Oroku Karai and honored to be called 'Son' by Oroku Saki himself."

'This is bad,' Haruka realised, 'Not just _Ashi, _but part of the head family. Granny, you so screwed up on this one...'

Konno and Aoyama, who recognised whom Keitaro was speaking over were silent, unfortunately that could not be said of Narusagawa who wanted answers, "What do you mean 'sided with that adopted wretch'?"

"They never spoke of it? I am... unsurprised," Keitaro scoffed, adjusting the cuffs of his dress shirt and suit jacket before continuing, "Nothing that would paint the Urashimas in a bad light would ever come out of their mouths, even the truth. You want to know what that truth is?"

"I want to know why you hate your own family," Narusagawa demanded

"Urashima Hina's son and daughter-in-law, my _former_," Keitaro put the emphasis on former, "parents adopted a child. A young girl perhaps her age now..."

He pointed at Su to give those listening an idea of the age he spoke of.

"But at the time she was much younger. She was orphaned by the deaths of both parents and suffered from a strong fear of abandonment. As she was supposed to be my new sister, I saw no problems in promising her that I'd always love her and would never leave her alone. I did not know at that time how warped her mind truely was."

"Keitaro, they don't need to hear this," Haruka pleaded, only to be ignored.

"That child began crawling into my bed while I slept, began entering the shower with me when I wasn't watching the door..."

"Hmph! That's why you lock the door, moron," Narusagawa scoffed, only to find the blade-tips of Keitaro's tiger claw now at her throat.

"I _did _lock the doors, foolish little girl, she _broke_ into the rooms," Keitaro corrected sharply.

"You probably wanted her to do it, you pervert," Narusagawa foolishly pressed, only to gasp as the blades at her throat broke skin and drew blood.

"You should silence your tongue before I remove it for you," Keitaro threatened, "I can see Hina Urashima's influence in you; you jump to the same conclusions that old bat did without bothering to check your facts either. If someone locks a door, it is a simple conclusion that they do _not _want anyone opening it. If that lock is picked or otherwise tampered with, it _remains_ an unwanted action. The Americans have summed it up simply, but perfectly; 'No' means 'No'."

Keitaro frowned, "I no longer wish to be interrupted by such foolishness, so I will shorten the tale. The morning came when the Urashima found her in my bed and took her words that I had promised her she could stay with me over my claims that she had misinterpreted what I meant and decided that I was dishonorable, a stain on their family name to be removed. So they removed me and now they want me back... And for what? Because their clan head would rather visit hot springs that fulfill her own duties? Because the rest of them care more about their personal businesses than their precious 'family's' inn? No, the mills of the gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small. I will not return, I will not claim any inheritance from them, I will let them suffer in this hell of their own making."

Aoyama gripped her katana's handle tightly, "If what you say is true, why did you even come?"

Keitaro raised an eyebrow, "Perhaps I wanted to see the look on _tengu-baa_'s face when she learned that I wasn't quite as helpless and alone as she wanted to believe. Perhaps I wanted you all to see that family isn't about blood or a clan name, but about standing together. Perhaps I even wanted to see if any of you regretted believing that child's claims that her actions were my idea. Or, perhaps, I merely wanted to lay the last demon of my past to rest. Take your pick, as they say..."

"But I suggest you pack while you're doing it," Keitaro flicked his hand and the tiger claw was gone as suddenly as it had appeared and he turned to leave, "One week can be very short."


End file.
